On Cell Phone Usage

Let’s be honest with ourselves for a moment.  You go to dinner with your friends and you hear a sound from your cell phone.  Do you answer it?

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In our increasingly technological world, we are often consumed by technology because it is always at our fingertips.  Prior to the invention of the cell phone, we had to wait until we were near a landline to make calls or, in emergencies, we utilized change and pay phones.  I haven’t seen a pay phone in years!  And does anyone really carry change anymore?  I attended a dinner where everyone except me spent half the meal checking us into the restaurant on Facebook or instagramming pictures of their food.  Is the food still warm when they finish utilizing all their filters? Or, did they hear our waitress the first time she asked if they needed something—one of my friends realized she had no mayonnaise after twenty minutes of taking photographs.  We miss so much of the world around us when we spend all of our time plugged in to the digital world.  How can we combat that?  Some modes of transportation have rules about electronic usage during travel.  People will turn their phones off during flights.  Buses and trains have these same rules, yet I have heard many a conversation on a bus ride.  So even banning them does not necessarily work.  A certain amount of etiquette is lacking in these situations.  The key here is to be considerate of those around you.

Some of my friends have tried to circumvent this by playing a game.  Everyone goes out to dinner together and at the beginning of the meal each person gets five minutes to finish their phone usage.  Afterwards, each person places their phone face down in the center of the table.  The first person to pick their phone up pays the entire bill for whole table.  It’s a weird game of bribery.  If you can hold out on not using your phone, but someone else can’t, then your food is free!  This is insane to me because we chose to go out to eat together to enjoy each other’s company.  It shouldn’t be a chore or a bet to spend time with your friends.  Why do we feel the need to be connected to everyone else all the time anyway?  Especially when we are with other people.

Old etiquette rules existed about the times people were allowed to make phone calls.  No one could call before nine in the morning, no one could call after nine at night.  It was frowned upon to call during meal times because that was supposed to be time spent with the people around you.  In this increasingly digital age, we should bring those rules back and reverse them.  It should be up to each individual person to control their usage.  Make a vow to not take or make calls before or after a certain time and people will likely follow your lead at least with you.  Make it a point to not take calls during meal times or times when you are with other people.  Or, if you must take a call or be ready to take a call (i.e. if you are a doctor currently on call for a hospital), let those you are with know and then step away from the table to utilize your phone if needed.  If we collectively make the effort to show active consideration for others in our own phone usage (and encourage their consideration through our purposeful refusal of their incoming calls) then it is likely that we would no longer have the problems of watching our friends take pictures of their sandwich for twenty minutes when we’ve set up a lunch date.

Emily Post suggests these top ten phone etiquette rules:

1. Be in control of your phone, don’t let it control you!
2. Speak softly.
3. Be courteous to those you are with; turn off your phone if it will be interrupting a conversation or activity.
4. Watch your language, especially when others can overhear you.
5. Avoid talking about personal problems in a public place.
6. If it must be on and it could bother others, use the silent ring mode and move away to talk.
7. Don’t make calls in a library, theater, church, or from your table in a restaurant.
8. Don’t text during class or a meeting at your job.
9. Private info can be forwarded, so don’t text it.
10. NEVER drive and use your phone at the same time.